Running gives me access

A pain in my belly with the weight of the world —

when I sit on my own it swells and it curls.

I can’t help but feel as numb as I can

I can’t help but feel less and less than

I did the day before – it’s a way we cope, don’t we?

We shut it all down, we numb silently.

And I hate that: the lack of access to it all —

because when I don’t feel sorrow, I can’t feel joyful.

The great door to the vaults of my emotions stay closed

unless I draw out the key so I can expose

the flutter and flight that lives within there:

joy and pain, happiness, hope and despair

Rage and resentment, worry and grief

all dance and mingle with fear and relief.

My key lies on the trails, to feel the wind on my face

I move through the woods at my own pace

and over the miles I feel the drops of each one,

I access my humanity out on a long run.

The world makes more sense, I can feel what’s here –

I can cry and release and make room for the tears.

May we all find a way to get deep into our being

to access each feeling — to get on with living.

Find your very own key to the vault and slide it right in

as you allow yourself to feel everything.

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