It’s all around me now.

 

The tick tick ticking of the clock

and the chatter

in the hallway

of neighbors

I never quite see.

 

It’s within me now.

 

The surge of uncertainty

and the grasping

at what may be.

 

Some days I set myself apart

from the rest of me.

 

Some days I set myself apart

from the rest of you.

 

The laughter in my eyes

and the lift of my cheeks

may find solitude–

a game

of hide-and-seek.

 

Theses days

the treadmill is my refuge

and the cat is

my champion

and my dreaming eyes

are transfixed

on documentaries

and books

and my own wandering words.

 

There is a power

to a clean sweat.

 

There is a celebration

to be sung

when the final bar

is dropped

and the last mile

is run

and the finishline

forgets

the gun-fired start

for a moment.

 

I’ve drank alone

and I’ve run alone.

I write alone

and I sing alone

in the shower

or over the bubbling

pot

on the stove.

 

But

 

I flourish

in the crowd,

amongst the dropped weights

and crowded roads

with laced up Nikes

pushing pace.

 

I grow slowly in the morning light

as I tap my keyboard

so that I may

access

my bursting heart.

 

I grow rapidly in the gym

or the studio

or front and center

of the graduate class

where I cannot help

but accept the challenge.

 

So

I may still write alone

and sing alone

 

But only when I choose to.

 

Because all that’s meant to be

is right here

waiting

waiting

in front of me

and within me.

 

Its all around me now.

 

And I intend

to grasp it

to my bursting heart.